top of page
  • Writer's pictureMichael Scarn

Season VII: The Sport Awakens

The 2021 Galactic Conquest was one for the books. We saw some excellent players do excellent things and some variation in Super Bowl appearances. Zack pulled the well sought after impeccable perfect season and both Jordan and Heery came close to doing the exact opposite. In this 2022 Galactic Conquest Preview, we speculate our garrison’s strengths and weaknesses, what prequel characters we all resemble, and vote on an intriguing side-challenge.


In this segment, we will be perusing two (2) rule changes and implementations. Voting will be performed in the GroupMe chat. The Dark Side simply means "voting no." The Light Side simply means "voting yes."

The Reagan Rule

We have come to the vote of the long talked about the Reagan Rule for the 2022 season. The Reagan Rule is that if you play a player/defense that scores 0 points in a week (either through injury, bye weeks, not playing a player at a position, or poor performance), you pay $5 to the pot and that goes to the 1st place finisher. PLAYOFFS/CONSOLATION IS EXCLUDED! This means you must play an active player at every position every week. This eliminates any judgment that league members and commissioners need to make as there is a clear, laid out plan that should eliminate tanking. Additionally, it becomes a fun mini-game that may make a good team pay if they have a kicker miss an XP, a poor defensive performance, or an early injury.

^ last year's Reagan Rule ^


Roster Spots

The next vote has been requested by a couple managers is the addition of two (2) roster spots for next season. Many dynasties have a Taxi Squad where they can hold rookies, but that would be very difficult on Yahoo. Instead, we are proposing a rule change to go from 25 roster spots to 27 roster spots. The positive is it gives more value to 3rd and 4th round picks because it is easier to roster them, however the talent in free agency would be even less.


2022 TLM



Um… It’s not what it looks like. Just “be mindful of your feelings.” A sly general with a young list of warriors and amethyst-bladed lightsaber, Bettis was the champion in Episodes I and III, and has little tolerance for the failings of the galaxy, the arguments of the galaxy, or the opinions of rebellious generals like Reagan. On the other hand, he’s always there for a good joke. As the galactic conquests have intensified, Bettis has cemented himself as the second-most powerful general in the galaxy’s history, but he senses the dark side of time at work, and knows his time has come to rebuild around Ken Walker and Trevor Lawrence.

Garrison Ranks

QBs - 5th

RBs - 11th

WRs - 10th

TEs - 3rd

K - 9th

D/ST - 9th

Projected Finish: 10th


A fan-favorite, Heery is a general trained by the co-commissioner Zack, Heery was a formidable warrior and point-scoring master in Episode I of the galaxy. Most believed him to continue his success in Episodes II and III. Though he fell off of a cliff being backed by aged veterans, the kid from Grand Rapids should eventually prove to be much harder to destroy than originally believed. Heery wields an intimidating double-bladed lightsaber in Justin Herbert and CeeDee Lamb and fights with a fun-filled ferocity. He looks to the future to step out of his deep, dark shadows and reclaim authority.

Garrison Ranks

QBs - 4th

RBs - 9th

WRs - 8th

TEs - 9th

K - 12th

D/ST - 12th

Projected Finish: 9th


Bryce is an all-gas-no-brakes strategist and a feared weekly matchup, known for his high-talent armies and hacking cough of a trash talk repertoire. His continuous fight to become next in line helps to fuel his hatred for John as their battles are 5-4 through Season VI. In the past, Bryce has built and developed a monster, but has been incapable of completing his conquest goals. His running backs used to be a weapon, allowing him lightning quick strikes and devastating blows, but he has now plunged himself into tanking.

Garrison Ranks

QBs - 11th

RBs - 12th

WRs - 11th

TEs - 11th

K - 11th

D/ST - 9th

Projected Finish: 11th


A well-meaning general from the planet Michigan, Corey struggled to prove his army’s worth throughout his dynasty career. Putting his rocky adventures behind him, Corey left the swamps of tanking to enter the even murkier waters of Galactic Conquest politics, becoming a representative for his people in the dynasty capital. There, his best intentions and eagerness to win matchups can be seen at an all-time high through his top commanders: Cooper Kupp, Jonathan Taylor, and Dalvin Cook. Even with his nasty past, Corey has a brighter future ahead of him.

Garrison Ranks

QBs - 10th

RBs - 1st

WRs - 4th

TEs - 5th

K - 4th

D/ST - 5th

Projected Finish: 2th


A highly-esteemed member of the original conquest, David comes into Season VII with the galaxy’s highest win total. He’s been a champion, he’s fallen just short, but simply put, he wins games. David’s armies have been stronger than most in his connection with the dynasty. Small in youth, but large in wisdom, his 2022 army should play an integral role in conquest, build off of the seemingly inevitable QB1 Josh Allen, and unlock the path to immortality as the galaxy’s biggest winner. However, David may feel like his army’s age is catching up to them…

Garrison Ranks

QBs - 2nd

RBs - 4th

WRs - 6th

TEs - 10th

K - 7th

D/ST - 3rd

Projected Finish: 6th


Rising from the bottom of the pack, John created himself a force to be reckoned with. The second half of the galaxy’s most verbally malicious rivalry, John was not initially a menacing general of the galaxy, but still a central figure in our galactic conquests. Once a bad army, he added some fun players to his roster and thirsted for greater power. He knows he is more dynastically adept than his counterpart, Bryce, but seems to trip up every once in a harvest moon. Now he faces a tough road ahead: the dynasty winds are changing.

Garrison Ranks

QBs - 7th

RBs - 8th

WRs - 8th

TEs - 8th

K - 10th

D/ST - 10th

Projected Finish: 8th


A venerable maverick champion in Season II, Jordan is one who bridges gaps between those of the planet of Alabama and those who reside from the planet of Michigan. Jordan lives in the moment, espousing a philosophy of "feel, don't think -- get some prospects." In Season II, Jordan discovered some young men named LeSean McCoy, DeAndre Hopkins, and Stefon Diggs who are strong in the ways of the points. Sensing these men’s potential, Jordan led his army to a galactic conquest victory. Fairly soon after, Jordan noticed his army was becoming too old to continue his success in the first three conquests. As he went into battle in Season V, he felt the need to rebuild. His current army has died, but his dynasty ghost will return…

Garrison Ranks

QBs - 12th

RBs - 10th

WRs - 12th

TEs - 12th

K - 1st

D/ST - 5th

Projected Finish: 12th


Discovered as a young boy on the planet Holland by Heery and Bryce, Reagan has the potential to become one of the most powerful Threat Level: Midnight generals ever, and is believed by some to be the prophesied “Chosen One” who could bring balance to the galaxy. A hero of the people, Reagan was caring and compassionate, but also had a fear of losing to Zack that may prove to be his downfall. Recently, Reagan seems to have been acting a little different: battling for greatness, scarred from trade offers and love (of second-year receivers). When asked about his dark, new attitude and mindset, he stated, “You're asking me to be rational. That is something that I know I cannot do. It's all Zack's fault. He's jealous. He's holding me back.”

Garrison Ranks

QBs - 8th

RBs - 2nd

WRs - 3rd

TEs - 7th

K - 2nd

D/ST - 11th

Projected Finish: 4th


The man who changes galaxy roles and names the most often, Tom is strong in the receiver side of the dynasty. First came the esteemed Atlanta 25ers, then DK Corner Climber, but he resides now as Sour Cream and Tonyan, eyes peeled toward the throne. Zack, the eventual champion, rejoiced when Tom failed in 2021 in the last week of the conquest, but Tom has cheated death and patiently plots his return to power. He has a grand chance to rule the galaxy through fear and Lamar Jackson.

Garrison Ranks

QBs - 3rd

RBs - 5th

WRs - 2nd

TEs - 4th

K - 10th

D/ST - 1st

Projected Finish: 3rd


Zach started out as your run-of-the-mill general with a really fun tight end in Travis Kelce. He wasn’t feared, wasn’t scary, and wasn’t making splashes. In comes one big change: Patrick Lavon Mahomes II. In addition to his brand-spanking-new dynasty quarterback, he launched the Tyreek blockade and subsequent invasion of the galaxy over the last four conquests. Zach has put himself on the map.

Garrison Ranks

QBs - 1st

RBs - 6th

WRs - 5th

TEs - 6th

K - 3rd

D/ST - 7th

Projected Finish: 5th


A legendary rebuilder and communicator, Zack is a strong developer and gifted in the ways of the dynasty. He trained Corey and Heery, serves as co-commissioner in the galaxy and guides Bryce as a mentor. Additionally, Zack was forced into exile as a result of the Great Tanking Purge of 2020. Post-tank, our galaxy co-commissioner came out with the likes of Najee Harris, Ja’Marr Chase, Kyle Pitts, Justin Jefferson, Saquon Barkley, and Travis Kelce among others. Zack took a Sa-quantum leap in 2021 and plans to continue his meteoric rise.

Garrison Ranks

QBs - 9th

RBs - 3rd

WRs - 1st

TEs - 1st

K - 6th

D/ST - 6th

Projected Finish: 1st


During last year’s galactic conquest, Zeke was regarded as one of the top generals in the galaxy. A proficient leader and reasonably well-equipped combatant, Zeke is covered in a sleek, Kyler-armored suit that conceals his smiling face. His combat gear features an arsenal of weaponry, including Diontae Johnson, Amari Cooper, Eli Mitchell and other more exotic tools of the trade. In combat, Zeke uses the biggest and best running back in the galaxy in Derrick Henry to gain a points advantage of strength and height over his enemies. The arsenal also carries a nasty surprise -- an explosive tight end in current dynasty TE2 Mark Andrews.

Garrison Ranks

QBs - 6th

RBs - 7th

WRs - 7th

TEs - 2nd

K - 4th

D/ST - 2nd

Projected Finish: 7th


37 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page