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  • Writer's pictureMichael Scarn

The System Presents: The Draft Review


 


Good evening, peasants. It is us: The System.


We are returning to bring you socialistic takes and enforce our iron fist upon you, as always. As we roll into 2023, it is our goal to provide you with fun articles and hot takes to keep your mind off of our infinite rule, and rather focus on the fun of fantasy football. So without further ado, we present to you The 2023 Draft Review.

 

This year’s draft was highlighted by a stranglehold on picks by Jordan, Heery, and Bettis, and Jordan. Reagan, being obsessed with young players, decided to trade a handful of pieces in exchange for a few early picks, which he then turned over to Heery for other players. This set the tone for the outcome of the draft.


The Bettis Revolution


Given some of us outside of The System have lives, it was offered up to have a slow draft. Which, in normal league, means that an owner can take some time to mull offers, not have to set aside two hours of their weekend and spend a little bit longer researching players they may be torn between taking. Of course, with any system, giving power to the people is a terrible idea, as Bane highlighted in The Dark Knight Rises.


While the first round flew through with relative quickness, it wasn’t long before fearless rebel Austin Bettis began his revolution and tried to lay siege to the patience of The System. Of course, The System remains an impatient bunch, hurled back insults from their mighty towers.


After years of waiting, Bettis finally made his selections, ending his revolution, but not without leaving his mark. This of course meant that impatience had reached a pinnacle and the final two rounds concluded rather swiftly.

The two questions that remain are: Why did Bettis take three g*ddamn days to make six selections? And will his revolt against the powers that be a cause for change in future generations?

“When the powers that be hold their fist over us with never-ending power, stall as long as possible with your 2nd round selections.” (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., probably)

But the war is over.

The dust has settled.

The picks have been made.

And the grades have been graded.



 

On a beach far far away.

David

Bryce

Carmody


The System gives them nothing for not playing

 

Questionable Picks and Curious Moves

Corey:

Nearing the end of his window, Corey made a desperate attempt to gain some depth by trading his 2025 2nd (which will most likely be early by that point) for some late 3rds. With the picks, he selected Evan Hull and Charlie Jones. The first is the backup to his superstar Jonathan Taylor, while the 2nd will be the 4th receiver for the Bengals. To put it bluntly, Corey sacrificed even more of his future in the case where his stud players got hurt, he’d be protected. By then it appears that his championship dreams would be over regardless, and the future pick will be worth even more. It is never wise to trade a future 2nd for late 3rds in a bad draft, but especially when Corey is about to fall off a cliff and that could easily be 2.01 in 2025 with Corey’s best players being aging RBs.

The System gives Corey an F

 

John:

Stuck in the gray area between competing and rebuilding, John took Israel Abanikanda, the MAYBE backup for the Jets. It’s a 3rd round flier, but picking someone with a backup role (in a best case scenario) doesn’t seem to provide much value when Breece Hall, Michael Carter, and Zonovan Knight are all likely ahead of him on the depth chart.

The System gives John a C– (All-Powerful Zack gave an F, so this C- is incredibly generous)

 

Tom:

Similar to John. Tom had a few opportunities to bring in some depth with a couple of 3rd rounders and a late 4th but settled with clear backup running backs and a tight end. It would be a surprise if any of Vaughn, Rodriguez, or Kraft played any meaningful minutes over the next couple of years for Tom. Perhaps Vaughn provides a needed flex play on bye weeks or due to injuries, but the other picks felt unneeded. Again, Tom was limited with options due to being a not very deep draft, but there is not a single ounce of excitement about any of these picks besides a sweet video about Deuce getting the draft call from his dad.

The System gives Tom a C- (Zack also gave an F for a 6th round RB and two bad pass catchers as a gross “haul”, even with late picks)

 

Making Solid Selections, but Much Left to be Desired


Bettis:

I’ll be honest. The System was not a fan of the 2nd round this year. It felt like a lot of decent players who could get some solid work on their respective teams, but not many have star potential like 2nd rounders of the past. Bettis took a handful of players, selecting High-Upside QB Anthony Richardson which should be a fun QB14 for him given his depth chart. AB taking a QB was the most predictable part of the draft even though it makes no sense. He also selected a few running backs with question marks regarding their roles. Josh Downs projects to be a slot receiver and Rashee Rice has a chance to join past chief WRs who end up going for 40/500 every year. It wasn’t a bad draft per se, there wasn’t much he could do, but The System believes he could’ve made some moves and traded out or up to get some better players and The System is never wrong working so hard for the people.

The System gives Bettis a C (This grade is not reflective of his decision to make us suffer for 3 days, as it would have been the most obvious F. We looked past this to provide an accurate grade)

 

Zeke:

After making a plethora of moves to begin his inevitable rebuild. Zeke drafted an army of rookies in hopes some of them pan out and become the foundation for his future. Of course, this is tough to grade because inevitably a few will pan out while others will do nothing at all. However, the system liked the selection given Zeke took players with defined roles and clear paths to volume on their respective teams. Bryce Young allows him to move Kyler and accumulate more assets while getting younger. While Mingo, Achane, Mims, and even Tillman could all become productive players in the future.

The System gives Zeke a C+

 

Didn’t Pick but had a Pick and Moved it for a Player Because it Made More Sense than Picking


Zack:

Traded 2.9 for Brandin Cooks. Could be fun. Could be not fun.

The System gives Zack an B-

 

Made Good Picks. Did Good Things. Now the Players Must do Good Things as Well to Make These Good Picks


Reagan:

Well, well, well, would you look at this... Truthfully, The System's favorite picks were getting Sam LaPorta and Jalin Hyatt, and moving 1.05 to Heery for contributors. It would also be fun if Will Levis pans out, but who knows with that mayonnaise-eating monster. However, a 176-pound slot WR is, and has always been, more fun in theory and in highlights than actually helping you win games in fantasy football. LaPorta and Levis are fun dart throws, but it feels like a B is way too high of a grade for this bozo.

The System gives Reagan a B (He himself thinks a C or C+ fits better, Addison salvages it but at 1.4 Addison may be a little early with Jefferson locked as WR1 and Kirk’s career winding down)


 

Heery:

Heery played it safe with most of his picks, staying on par with everything he does. The caveat is Jahmyr Gibbs in which he essentially traded Jaxon Smith-Njigba and Hollywood Brown for the pick. His career in Detroit will define how well we look back at this draft. Here’s to hoping it pans out for our beloved Lions and our beloved Heery. Can’t go wrong with being safe, but you also don’t win 'ships being safe.

The System gives Heery a B+

 

Jordan:

Fantasy Football is about fun. Some people find it fun to check in once a week and set a lineup and others people find it amusing to trade all their picks for aging vets in hopes of maybe sniffing the playoffs. Jordan has found it fun grinding trades and podcasts and his trades and picks reflect that. Zach Charbonnet and Dalton Kincaid were easy selections at their spot. The System itself is high on Kendre Miller (Reagan would’ve taken him 1.09 if he didn’t trade back). The System thinks he has the ability to become the guy in New Orleans if he pans out. The rest of his draft were high-upside guys and a fun slot guy in Jaylen Reed. If everything pans out he should get two or three contributors from this draft and some value in the later rounds. Sean Tucker is #PLE4SE4D, and so is The System.

The System gives Jordan an A-

 

No true A’s were given this year as Jordan made a couple iffy moves and Heery paid a ransom for the question mark in Gibbs. However, in a class with a lot of question marks, some owners got better, while others may have crippled themselves in the future. Only time will tell and only The System truly knows best.

Stay rebellious.

Stay hungry.

Make trades.

Sincerely,



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