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  • Writer's pictureMichael Scarn

Week 2 Review and Week 3 Preview

Hello, everyone!

Wow. Plenty of points to go around, but it seems the points train skipped a few stops

Week 2 Review

MixonItUpW/Mahomies outperform projections, earn win over Myles and Moore (a.k.a. the worst team name in the league) in 186.75-127.25 beatdown

Is it a Chiefs team, or a Dolphins team? John's squad might be both, but he sat his cuddly Crimson Tide friend in Tua Tagovailoa and his 55 points and couldn't come through. Zach threw out three non-quarterback, 30-point plays in Jaylen Waddle, Tyreek Hill, and Aaron Jones. Zach might be a little scary this season with this 60-point victory

Saquontum Leap come up short of projections, still manage to knock off Zach Wilson... Mother Tucker, 121.5-56.9

Just a sorry-ass showing for those Mother Tuckers. There were 11 zeroes on Jordan's bench and one Reagan Rule starter in Cole Kmet. Jordan's highest achiever? Olamide Zaccheaus. Zack has been quoted as being a little nervous about Zach's roster with all these quarterback troubles the reigning champ has been having.

Baker Of Chains succumb to I’m The Cook in 141.75-67.15 drubbing

Another blowout! We're just going up the ladder here and it's our largest margin of victory of the week. Cooper Kupp is cemented in lineups all across America and the Virgin Islands, where Reagan lives on the weekdays, with his two, tubular touchdowns. Even Allen Robinson joined in on the Rams endzone fun, but Corey's big scorer was Tampa Bay's defense.

Zack drinks chunky milk earn win against Psycho Kylers in 203.90-129.85 rout

Poor Zeke honestly had a really nice week with Kyler's late game heroics, Buffalo snuffing out the Titans ridiculous offensive game plan, and solid weeks all around the roster. However, Reagan put his big boy pants on and wanted to send a message to the other managers in Threat Level: Midnight. Amon-Ra St. Brown may actually be the sun god of old, Mark Andrews is himself, and Stefon Diggs doesn't give a toot if he plays against good corners or JV-level ones (sorry, Titans).

Both teams brush off expectations, as Samuel Adams defeat Christian Watson Sinner Watson in 158.50-119.35 victory

Is Curtis Samuel for real? Or is it Carson Wentz? What's really going on here in Washington? Even with Samuel and Jalen Hurts scoring a meek 38 points, Tom took the win because Lamar Jackson is "That Guy." Nick Chubb had three scores of his own in addition to Devin Duvernay's opening kick return touchdown.

Herbert Fully Loaded fall to Won Man Pony Show in 140.05-74.40 landslide

I'm not sure anyone beat Josh Allen this week. We were kind of hoping to see a fun matchup for a potential Game of the Week, but man did the Herbies fall way short. At least the namesake stands up when he was knocked down over and over with his cracked ribs. The 'Muth got "Luth" again, but wasn't enough for even an 80-point showing. Allen, Christian McCaffrey, and Mike Will(iams) made it impossible for these budding winners to find victory. David wins.


Week 3 Preview

Our Game of the Week in Week 3 is the Zac(h/k) Bowl: first and second place duke it out for a potential points lead in the standings. Tua Tagovailoa plays a backup secondary against Buffalo, so that may be Zack's first demise in a while. He may be without a rock-solid quarterback room, but Zack is ready to ride with Russell Wilson after a gutsy trade. Corey plays David (which could also be one to watch) without star wide receiver, Jakobi Meyers. Josh Jacobs may also not play in Tennessee with an illness, so Corey's 3rd place spot may be on the hot seat. Reagan takes Heery and shoves him in a ditch this week. Tom takes John and carefully puts him in an old folks' home. It would be cool to see Bettis show out for the bottom group and put up 100 points against Zeke, but the Cardinals play the Rams, so Kyler is expected to either throw for 300 and five total touchdowns or throw three interceptions and 200 total yards. Then we get to the matchup that scares our Treasurer, Heery: Jordan vs. Bryce. Round 1 will be less as intense as Round 2 in Week 12, but rest assured, we are excited for this glorified pillow fight.


Weekly Pick 'Em

Heery (Last Week: 5-1, Overall: 9-3)

Zack, David, Tom, Reagan, Zeke, Jordan

Reagan (Last Week: 5-1, Overall: 9-3)

Zach, David, Tom, Reagan, Zeke, Bryce

Zack (Last Week: 6-0, Overall: 10-2)

Zack, Corey, Tom, Reagan, Zeke, Bryce

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