I truly don’t know how to start this article. Usually, I can come up with a witty beginning, or at
least some fun story. However, with the vast number of injuries sweeping across the league,
perhaps it may be best to keep this as somber as possible.
Ehhh, nevermind, I don’t get paid enough for that. Actually, I don't get paid...
I’m back and better than ever after surviving a tough week in Fantasy Land. As we look back
at last week’s massacre, let’s keep in mind that everything and anything is possible when it
comes to Fantasy Football. Hell, Corey isn’t even in last place. Could this be the fantasy apocalypse? Perhaps, but Week 3 is upon us. Which means it’s time to strap up, review last week’s games, and hold our breaths as another week of head-on collisions occur.
Week 3 Notes
While we hoped that either Zack or Austin H would be capable of an upset, it appears neither team is going to have a chance at accomplishing such a heroic feat this season. Case in point: Zack may start Mitch Trubisky this week and Austin has Fitzmagic leading his squad...
Jordan and David flipped roles this week, with Jordan going off for 160 points, while David suffered a devastating injury to CMC, only scoring 115. These two teams may be this year’s boom or busts, and could easily squeak into the playoffs.
The Elephant in the room appears to be Carmody’s lackluster start to the season. And with the Saquan news, it may be too large a hole to dig out of. Unless of course, he becomes manager of the year and trades like there is no tomorrow.
Week 3 Awards
The Award for "Worst Start/Sit Decision of all time but still somehow won the week" goes to Tom, for his benching blunder of Nick Chubb, starting PEYTON BARBER and RUSSELL GAGE over him, then managing to score 160 points.
"We Saw it Coming, but Not This Much" award goes to Zeke, who we predicted would be a borderline playoff team, but now sits atop the standings.
The Rodrigo Blankenship Medal for most consistent team, although it’s really not that hard to manage goes to Bryce. For staying consistently good in these trying times.
Speaking of trying times, I want to leave us with a parting thought before we look at next week's
slate. With everything going on with injuries, and coronavirus, and who knows what else, I want to
take a moment to recognize the things in our lives that stay ever so consistent.
With that being said, let’s take a moment of silence to recognize these few things:
The Jets, for allowing Adam Gase to run the team and organization into the ground every Sunday
Zack, for not only fielding a terrible lineup each week, but also finding ways to make trades from that garbage dump that people shouldn’t even entertain
Julio Jones, for staying consistently inconsistent as a fantasy asset
Will Fuller, for getting hurt at least once a season
Raheem Mostert, for breaking one large TD run and then never touching the ball again
Patrick Mahomes, for completing passes that have no right being anywhere near a good pass
The Patriots, Rams, Dolphins, and Buccaneers. For utilizing a RBBC and causing headaches to all fantasy owners alike.
And the Lions, for starting off hot and then inevitably choking by the 4th quarter.
We thank all of these teams, athletes, and fantasy owners for doing their part to give us a small glimpse of consistency in an ever-changing world.
Week 3 Matchups
MixonitupW/Mahomies VS Larry Had a Lil’ Lamb
I’ve always viewed Week 3 as the calm after the storm that is the first two weeks. We’ve already
had a glimpse of what our team might look like going forward. More importantly, we’ve
seen which players may not perform to our expectations and those that will perform above.
Unfortunately for Austin H, he has neither of those. His team has performed exactly as expected,
with a whopping 70ppg and not a glimmer of hope. It may be best to stay away from the game
updates each Sunday going forward. As for Zach, a part of me feels bad for him. A loaded roster
staring at an 0-2 start. On top of that, an injury to one of FF’s very best players. The good news is there’s time, and where there’s time, there just might be hope. For this week he has a lot of hope,
as he will pick up an easy win against an easy opponent. There’s no way I can sugarcoat it.
Game Picks:
Austin: Zach
Reagan: Zach
Zack: Zach
Livin’ on Helaire VS I’m The Cook
I’m going to keep this short and sweet. Zack’s team is not good. Edwards-Helaire has a tough matchup. Corey’s team is quite good, Jonathan Taylor is going to run through the Jets (Hopefully Gase is fired after), and I will put the line at Zack +45. Enjoy.
Game Picks:
Austin: Corey
Reagan: Corey
Zack: Corey
Baker of Chains VS Unsolicited Dak Pics
You ever have that person in class where you just had the gut feeling he was going to lose his
mind one day and go nuts in the middle of class? That person is Jordan’s team. Which I project
will either score 96 points, or 147, with no chance anything in between happens. I just can’t put
my finger on half his players, and the other half are pretty inconsistent too. With that being
said, I just have the gut feeling that he pulls off the upset this week. Nothing against Bryce's
squad, it’s a formidable group and all, but I just think he only puts up 120-125 with some slower
performances. In the end, a huge game from Dak and Stefon Diggs will lead Jordan to a somewhat upset win.
Game Picks:
Austin: Bryce
Reagan: Jordan
Zack: Jordan
Double Wingdings VS 2x Miles and Moore
Out of the six-game slate, I would wager that this one will end up being the closest while hovering
around 130 points. Neither team is built to put up a substantial number of points on a week-to-
week basis, however, I think both owners (no bias) have done a good job assembling consistent
squads, who can take down any team in the right matchup. The keys for this game will be Kenny
Golladay coming off a two-week hiatus, and now facing a revamped and hungry Cardinals defense. While Jarvis Landry needs to show up this week to help Reagan pull off the win. Either way, I’d imagine this one comes down to the wire during the 4:25 game slate and will have both
owners biting their nails with each yard gained.
Game Picks:
Austin: John
Reagan: Reagan
Zack: John
r u shitting (on) me VS D’ Dee and Dede
It appears that Tom has come to his senses as Nick Chubb has returned to the starting lineup,
meaning his team is ready to pounce on a struggling Bettis squad, who hasn’t been able to fire
on all cylinders at the same time. One week David Johnson explodes, the next he disappears.
And the same goes for Darius Slayton. At the end of the day, a team needs consistency, and Bettis hasn’t shown that even as we look to last year. That same consistency is needed in roster management. With Tom struggling to find his groove with his decisions, I’d wager this game might be closer than we expect.
Game Picks:
Austin: Tom
Reagan: Tom
Zack: Austin
Psycho Kylers VS Run-CMC
The situation doesn’t look bright for David. While I was never a fan of his team, I think the
loss of CMC might have been the nail in the coffin. With the matchup against a red hot
Zeke, I don’t see much chance David pulls it off. He’d need a huge game from both Boyd and
JuJu and neither have shown they are splash players in their respective offenses. Count me in
on Kyler and Ridley going for a combined 55.
Game Picks:
Austin: Zeke
Reagan: Zeke
Zack: Zeke
Which Scrub Gets the Dub?
Neither. I want so badly to give either of them hope. But their teams are abysmal, their owners
enjoy* losing. And I’m tired of writing this article. Austin, don’t you dare edit this out.
Game Picks Overall:
Zack: 7-5
Reagan: 6-6
Austin: 5-7
Reagan Cotton.
Hopeful playoff manager.
Exhausted JV football coach.
Signing off.
*Editor's note: I do not enjoy losing. BUT Fitzmagic will torch the Jags on Thursday Night
Tough break for our boy Zack. Really glad to see things turning up for Corey. Great work boys