To save myself from writing, I figured I’d create a fun film to emphasize the atrocity of a game
we will witness when Zack and Heery face off this week. The film took longer than the writing
by a large margin, but I finished it out of sheer commitment to not quitting, unlike the Cowboys
entire team. With nothing else left to say… enjoy!
Week 7 Notes
Zeke barely pulled off a Monday night victory over Zack. Which is telling for both parties considering the score. The Chris Carson injury certainly doesn’t bode well going forward.
Bettis moved to 5-2, I refuse to believe he will win this year, but here we are. Side note: Corey, you’ve got to start making some moves here
Nice job, Jordan.
Week 7 Awards
The “Receivers are all you need” Award goes to John, for dropping 170, with 70 coming from three receivers.
The “One-man army” Medal goes to Carmody, for watching Lockett put up 45 in a loss.
The “Hardly counts as a win” paper plate goes to Tom, for, well. Beating Heery 88-87.
I don’t want to write much more; the video took a lot out of me.
Week 8 Preview
Larry had a Lil’ Lamb VS All Barkley No Bite
Brian Hill, Giovani Bernard, Gus Edwards. Backup Running backs? Yes… Starting in this matchup? Also yes. Vegas puts the line at 179.5, I’ll put the line at even calling this a game.
Game Picks:
Austin: Austin "f*ck Zack"
Reagan: Zack
Zack: Zack
D’ Dee and Dede VS Myles and Moore
As it stands, John is not starting Le'Veon in his revenge game against the Jets, which I hope goes precisely as everyone wants. Meanwhile, Tom acquired another white slot receiver for a pick (thankfully not a 1st this time).
Game Picks:
Austin: John
Reagan: John
Zack: John
R u shitting (on) me VS Run CMC
Bettis gets hit with the ultimate bye-week/injury combo, leaving him without four of his starters. Rumors are circulating about trades being made, but with time running short let’s see if he can pull it off. Speaking of rumors, David seems to be close to getting CMC back, and he will need it if the decline of Josh Allen continues…
Game Picks:
Austin: David
Reagan: David
Zack: David
Unsolicited Dak Pics VS MixonitupW/Mahomies
There are a lot of good players in this matchup, which leads me to believe it’ll be the highest scoring affair of the week. Roethlisberger vs. a hungry Ravens team off a bye week is worrying, but it’s certainly better than Newton at this point. While the Chief—Zach, hopes to return to form with another win to start his playoff push spearheaded by an underperforming Mahomes (fantasy-wise).
Game Picks:
Austin: Zach
Reagan: Zach
Zack: Zach
Baker of Chains VS Psycho Kylers
Psycho Kylers is Kyler-less, which means Primetime Kirk will be leading the squad without Chris Carson. I think we all know what direction this one is going. Unlike Bryce who for 6 weeks thought Hilton and Rivers were fighting – stay tuned for next week’s incredible story.
Game Picks:
Austin: Bryce
Reagan: Bryce
Zack: Bryce
Monty in the Grave VS I’m the Cook
Maybe if I pick myself to lose, I’ll actually win...?
Game Picks:
Austin: Corey
Reagan: Corey
Zack: Corey
Overall Pick’em Standings
Austin: 26-16 (4-2)
Zack: 26-16 (5-1)
Reagan: 24-18 (5-1)
Austin is slipping…
Cold Take of the Week
One of these things is not like the other…
Superfan Addie, shoot me a text and we can talk about getting you in here for a guest appearance.
Reagan Cotton.
Pure Football Guy.
Signing off.
I would love to submit a game day snack recipe